If you spend any time on TikTok, you’ve probably come across the growing trend of women sharing their picture-perfect homemaking routines, advocating for a return to a more traditional way of life. With more than 125 million posts under #tradwife, the movement sparked attention and debate.
These videos usually depict an attractive woman entering a kitchen, her hair is carefully styled, her makeup effortless yet flawless, her outfit feminine, stylish and modest; she proceeds to cut the produce that looks like it was taken from an oil painting, to prepare the perfect meal – balanced, healthy, homemade. The family gathers for dinner, the husband sitting at the head of the table, dressed in business-casual attire, smiling at their children, who never refuse to eat their vegetables or misbehave.
The visuals in these videos portray an idealized dream: a simple yet fulfilling life, meticulously curated to appear perfect. For the tradwives of TikTok, aesthetics are crucial in promoting their nostalgic vision of an outdated lifestyle. The appeal of “returning to a simpler time” is easy to romanticize, but these carefully crafted images obscure the fundamental flaws and contradictions within the tradwife ideology. The reality is that beneath the charming, 1950s-inspired aesthetic, lies a deeper conversation about feminism, economic independence, and the contradictions of modern tradwifery.
Defining the Tradwife
A tradwife can be defined as a married woman who commits to traditional gender roles and marriages, primarily focusing on taking care of the children, homemaking, cleaning, cooking for the family, as her husband acts as the primary breadwinner. Google Trends shows that the term tradwife started gaining popularity around 2018 and since only gained traction, spreading across many platforms. One of the tradwives of TikTok, Estee Williams, explained tradwifery in her own words: “So the man goes outside the house, works, provides for the family. The woman stays home, and she’s the homemaker. She takes care of the home and the children if there are any… Tradwives also believe that they should submit to their husbands and serve their husbands and family.”
The History Behind the Movement
The exact origins of the term “tradwife” are unclear, but many studies traced the movement’s ideological roots to the 1950s United States, a period in which strict gender roles were the norm. Women were taught that marriage was the most important thing they could accomplish, with the engagement ring symbolizing ultimate happiness. After World War II, popular culture and print media heavily encouraged women to go back to a life of domesticity – images of “the happy housewife” were everywhere, from magazines to TV shows. The marriage rates were at an all time high and the average age of marriage was lower than ever.
However, reality often clashed with this idealized image. Many housewives felt unfulfilled, with some resorting to substance abuse – certain sedatives and stimulants were even referred to as “mothers little helpers”. A growing sense of dissatisfaction among women led to the second-wave feminist movement, sparked by the book The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan, who explored the feeling that “something was missing” in many women’s lives.
The Problem with Romanticizing the Past
While the nostalgia can be comforting, viewers must consider the potential ramifications of these idealized portrayals. The tradwife lifestyle is not just about the aesthetic choices – it promotes a worldview that disregards the struggles of past generations for gender equality. The “simpler times” modern tradwives long for were also times when women were denied fundamental rights and autonomy. Historian Jacqueline Beatty summarized the situation in her article for the New York Times:
“Their advocacy for the ideology and principles of so-called “traditional” gender roles in marriage ultimately have the effect of promoting a return to the days of coverture and an erasure of the hard-fought (if incomplete) gains of women’s rights activists throughout American history.”
The Contradictions of the Modern Tradwife
Many tradwives actively profit from promoting an anti-feminist ideology, despite benefiting from the very freedoms they critique. Their content often monetizes their lifestyle through sponsorships, brand deals, and social media engagement, granting them financial independence that contradicts the traditional model they advocate. As sociologist Michelle Janning explained to Business Insider:
“They’re not selling a product but selling a version of themselves, and their husband will be getting the sponsorship. (But) it’s a contradiction: Their job is to tell people they don’t have a job.”
Unlike the average unemployed stay-at-home wife, social media tradwives have economic autonomy, proving that their “traditionalism” is only followed when convenient.
Choice Feminism and the Tradwife Debate
While many tradwives openly defend patriarchal ideals, others claim that their lifestyle choice is a feminist one. This argument aligns with “choice feminism”, the belief that any decision made by a woman is inherently feminist. Choice feminism has been widely debated, as it often overlooks the broader social structures that shape and limit women’s choices.This stance raises many questions in my mind: if a woman who made the choice to not work when she first got married wanted to leave her husband for whatever reason, without any economic freedom, could she do it without destroying herself in the process? How would she be able to provide anything for herself without having her own savings or stipend, after not having worked for years? What about the years of unpaid domestic labor she provided? Not just tradwives or women, no one without economic freedom can easily make the decision to walk away from their provider, and they simply become prisoners. It’s great if a woman decides that she wants to stay at home to take care of her children or bake cakes until her final days, it is however important that she actually has the means to make that choice for herself everyday. Besides, it is certainly debatable how preaching ideologies that teach women that their main purpose in life is to serve their husbands can be considered “feminist”.
Finally
The tradwife movement cannot be reduced to a personal lifestyle choice. It carries greater implications about gender roles, selling a romanticized version of the past while ignoring the struggles that came with it. At the same time, many tradwives promoting this lifestyle are financially independent thanks to the very freedoms they claim to reject. So as this trend continues to grow, it should be considered if it is really about choice and tradition, or just another way to repackage outdated ideologies in a more appealing way?